Sometimes, when the anxiety is flaring up and my mind races back to the past, I have to learn how to breathe.
"I want to move to New York, no I want to move back to California"
"Why did we ever leave California?"
"Why did we ever leave New York?"
Tonight while cooking dinner my mind raced with old memories, walking along the beach with Joe in California, farmers market in California, living in NYC. And I started to think about our reality now. School starts in three weeks. We don't live on the coast. Blah blah blah. I started to freak out and somewhere a voice in my head said
"It's not your destiny here but rather your exploration."
So simple, yet so true. This place isn't my destiny, but rather a place for me to explore. To learn another new thing. It's not final but it plays into creating another aspect of my life.
So when anxiety builds up, that will be my new motto. It's not about your destiny but rather your exploration.
New York to California to Indiana to New Jersey.
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